I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
