hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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