Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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