What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
