You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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