So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
