he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize