would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
