There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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