I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm getting married
To pizza
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
