I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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