this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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