The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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