eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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