I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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