And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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