he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
