I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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