I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
