dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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