I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
