its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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