kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize