so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize