i don't like sucking hair
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize