Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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