i may or may not be watching the land before time
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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