I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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