ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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