kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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