Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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