what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
