Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
