Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
