Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
