you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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