well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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