You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
