Betty ford says i'm here all night
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
