I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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