Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
