only you would photoshop your dick
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
