I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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