sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
