just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
