I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
