so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
