i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
