he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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