Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
