What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
