My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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