can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
