He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
