I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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