I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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