my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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