The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
