I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If I had your ass I would rule the world
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
