come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
