You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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