His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
