he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
